Dreams

I'm at a point right now where every goal in my life seems like some distant dream, or fairy tale that I'm never going to achieve. Dental school applications open in 127 days. Am I ready? Do I have what it takes to stand out amongst the thousands of qualified applicants who want this as much as I do? Whenever I tell people I'm applying this summer, they all say the same thing: "PJ, you're a shoe-in. Quit worrying." But honestly, I wish they would stop saying this. A "shoe-in?" I know it's hard for other people to know just how competitive applying is, but no one is a "shoe-in" when it comes to dental school. 
Every time I'm driving and that One Republic song "Counting Stars" comes on, I always get sentimental. "Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep/Dreaming about the things that we could be." I know he's not talking about anything I'm going through but I have literally been losing sleep thinking about what's to come of my future. Every night when I try to go to sleep, I have to beat back thoughts of self-doubt and nervousness. 

I know I'm not the only person going through this right now, but sometimes it does feel lonely - like some burden I have to carry until I finally hear those magical words of "you're in." But then I have to think of how blessed I am that this is my biggest problem right now. I'm in a really good position to apply this summer, and I have incredible support from my family and boyfriend. Still a part of me is scared of the process to come. (But that's what you get for listening to my stream-of-consciousness.)

Until next time,
PJ